FRIDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2022
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We love the crackle of open flame under the stars any time of year, but fall bonfires are special. Something about the flames mixed with cool air, good buddies and cold beer create the embodiment of a sensation we can only categorize as “ahhh.” It is our belief however, that one cannot just start a fire willy nilly and hope for the best, and with that in mind we would like to share some fervently held beliefs that will help make your next flame-based gathering a success.
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BYOW (BRING YOUR OWN WOOD)
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Much like bringing a bottle of wine to a dinner party, bringing a pile of wood to a bonfire is simply considered the polite thing to do, and will go a long way to establishing you as a fellow of taste and distinction (extra points if you split the logs yourself). However, if you are hosting the bonfire, you should have far more wood than necessary. How much? A cord that looks like it could conceivably keep Valley Forge warm through the winter of 1777-78 should suffice.
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Duke Cannon wieldsa marshmallow on a twiglike a Jedidoesa lightsaber—no scorching, and certainly no errant drops into the flame. This is not happenstance, but dueto years of trainingin service of onegoal;making the perfect S’more for his bonfire guests. This demanding field (more art than science) is notoriously difficult to master, but if you'rereally nice—or a youngsterwhoshows promise—we might share some of our secrets.
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A night of male bonding is no place to forget your manners. In other words, if you’re empty, you can bet someone else is too. You can ask out loudif someone needs a refill, or if you’re a bit slurry (it happens; no judgment), simply stand up, point at yourbottleand cast a quizzical look around the fire with your eyebrows raised. Rest assured this time-honored pantomime will get immediate results.
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BRUSH UP ON YOUR ASTRONOMY
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We’renot saying you need to be ready to give Hipparchus a run for his drachma or anything, but you are going to be sitting under the stars for an extended period, and eventually you’re going to look up. And when you do, it might behoove you to be able tonamesome basic celestial bodies even a 5th grader couldidentify, rather thanpoint andsay, “Hey—I think I see the shape of a bunny right there.”
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THERE'S NO CURFEW ON BONFIRE NIGHT
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There’s something full circle about seeing the fire you builtslowlydwindle down into a pile ofglowingash.Plus, staying up with your closest pals until the wee hours of the morningsoyou can glimpse that specific mix of blue and pink sky on the horizon is really what it’s all about. And don’t worry about waking Gary the Snore King—we’ll get him later this morning with the leaf blower.
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